Topic: Big Bike vs Moped

[Viking]

Stopped at a red light was a big motorcycle, with big tires and a big engine.
Sitting on top of the bike was a big biker, with big arms, big tattoos and a big beard.

Along came a little old man on a moped.
He stopped beside the big biker and looked over at the big bike.

"Good Lord", he exclaimed "that sure is a BIG bike".

"Sure is", growled the biker.

"I bet it goes pretty fast", commented the old man.

"Sure does", growled the big biker.

"Mind if I take a closer look?", asked the old man.

"Go ahead", replied the biker "just don't touch nothing.

So the old man got his face real close to the bike, the better to see all the big shiny parts. Meanwhile, the light turned green.
The big biker decided to show off a little, and hits the throttle hard, laying a strip of rubber and accelerating to tree-men-dous speed in the blink of an eye.
Looking back in his mirror, the biker was surprised to see the little old man gaining on him fast, so he pinned the throttle...but still, the old man was gaining hard.
Suddenly the old man on the moped flew past the astonished biker like he was sitting still.

"Goddam!", exclaimed the big biker, and before he could do anything else, the old man flew past him in the other direction, going even faster!
"He's driving circles around me".
Stunned and amazed, the big biker pulled over to consider the situation.

KER-WHAM!

The old man on the moped suddenly drove into the back of the big bike, totally destroying his little moped.
The big biker ran around to the back of his bike, and there was the little old man laying on the ground moaning.

"Holy crap old-timer", he exclaimed "are you alright, can I do anything for you?"

"Sure thing sonny", replied the old man "would you mind unhooking my suspenders from your handlebars?"