Topic: Wouldn't you wanna be a man?

[Cos]

 
                                 
                                      Men Are Just Happier People   
   
   
   NICKNAMES
   
   ·        If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate and Sarah.
   
   ·        If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, D#$*head and $hnit for Brains.
   
     
   EATING OUT
   
   ·        When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in $20, even though it's only for $32.50.  None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back.
   
   ·        When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.
   
   
   
   MONEY
   
   ·        A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
   
   ·        A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need but it's on sale.
   
     
   BATHROOMS
   
   ·        A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel.
   
   ·        The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337.  A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.
   
   
   
   ARGUMENTS
   
   ·        A woman has the last word in any argument.
   
   ·        Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
   
       
   FUTURE
   
   ·        A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
   
   ·        A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
   
       
   SUCCESS
   
   ·        A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
   
   ·        A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
       
   
   MARRIAGE
   
   ·        A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
   
   ·        A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but she does.
   
   
   
   DRESSING UP
   
   ·        A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the trash, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail.
   
   ·        A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.
       
   
   NATURAL
   
   ·        Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
   
   ·        Women somehow deteriorate during the night.
   
       
   OFFSPRING
   
   ·        Ah, children.  A woman knows all about her children.  She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.
   
   ·        A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.
     
   THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
   
   A married man should forget his mistakes.  There's no use in two people remembering the same thing!
   

[Ninja Johnny]

                                 
      EATING OUT

Don't even go there, you pervs....

[smokey]

                                 
      EATING OUT

Don't even go there, you pervs....

I don't know what you are talking about, Karl hasn't posted yet.